As the Fourth of July approaches, many in America will celebrate 241 years since the founders of the United States of America signed the Declaration of Independence, their very own disruptive, revolutionary startup. Prior to independence, colonists would celebrate the birth of the king. However, after the Revolutionary War broke out in April of 1775, some colonists began holding mock funerals of King George III. Additionally, bonfires, celebratory cannon and musket fire and parades were common, along with public readings of the Declaration of Independence. There was also rum. Today, we often celebrate with BBQ, fireworks and a host of other festivities. As an aspiring data nerd and a sociologist, I thought I would use the Wolfram Language to explore the Declaration of Independence using some basic natural language processing. Using metadata, I'll also explore a political network of colonists with particular attention paid to Paul Revere, using built-in Wolfram Language functions and network science to uncover some hidden truths about colonial Boston and its key players leading up to the signing of the Declaration of Independence.