The UK, like many other countries, runs a food hygiene inspection system that tries to ensure that establishments with poor hygiene standards improve or are shut down. As is often the case, the data collected for operational reasons can provide a rich source of insight when viewed as a whole. Questions like "Where in the UK has the poorest food hygiene?", "What kinds of places are the most unhygienic?", and "What kinds of food are the most unhygienic?" spring to mind. I thought I would apply Mathematica and a little basic data science and provide the answers. The collected data, over half a million records, is updated daily and is openly available from an API, but this API seems to be targeted at performing individual lookups, so I found it more efficient to import the 414 files from this site instead.